GUEST POST: Racial Education For Kids

Updated: Oct 20, 2022

Image credit: https://www.hsta.org/news/recent-stories/hawaiis-public-education-must-include-honest-lessons-of-racism-and-oppression-past-and-present/

I am not an expert in anything really, but I feel that this particular topic is one that I am not very educated on. And how can I teach my kids about something that I myself don't fully know how to talk about? This is something important for everyone to learn about.

So, I reached out to my amazing sister-in-law! She is passionate about so many things in life, and teaching people about race is one of those things. She is an expert in this area and a great example to me in so many ways. I asked her if she would be okay writing a blog post about how to talk to kids about race, and she said yes!

So, I introduce to you Kayla Adams-Critchlow:

Race has been an ever present subject and issue in the United States. With the advent of social media and new technology, we are getting a new perspective on the realities of race and racial issues in this nation. The information is everywhere, ever present and at times hard to disseminate for adults; can you image how much harder that is to process and understand for children and teens? Providing young people with, not only the information about racial realities in the U.S., but the tools to grasp new information and critically think about it as they grow is an integral part of any education plan.

Take this article as a blueprint for learning to talk with your kids or the young people in your life about race. Below are steps that can be taken in the pursuit of making sure your kids approach this topic with empathy, knowledge and know how.

How do adults understand Race?

It is difficult for adults to educate young people on subjects on which they themselves didn’t receive much education. If you want to provide the most comprehensive, accurate impactful education on the subject of race, it’s important to be able to recognize the blind spots, unconscious biases and gaps in knowledge present in caretakers.

Many white people (especially those raised and living in low diverse areas) haven’t had the exposure to issues of race and thus do not have the important information needed to understand or educate other on the topic. It can be super hard to say, “I don’t know something,” but it’s an important step in knowing more so that you can teach more. This brings us to:

Step 1:

Make sure you understand what you don’t know and fill in the gaps of your own knowledge. There are several ways to go about this step. You can read some great books and articles written by those marginalized voices. There are some informative documentaries, YouTube videos and movies that provide information and insight. Make sure that the information is coming from a source that is informed by research and the perspective of many of those racial groups (we have provided some great resources below).

As you learn more you may notice that certain feelings come up. Some parents feel uncomfortable about the information they are confronted with. Maybe you feel angry, sad, hopeless, confused or any other impactful feelings. Sit with those feelings and do your best to understand where they are coming from. Some of these emotions can deter people from doing the work, but they are important in absorbing the knowledge and letting it impact your behavior.

How do I translate hard complex subjects to young mind?

Much of what you will learn and the information about race can feel too heavy for kids and teens – this can discourage us from sharing. Many studies have shown that developing brains are able to be curious and process hard truths and realities. Give kids a chance, you will find they are more resilient and able than we often give them credit for. That being said -- you do want to make sure that what we teach and how we do it, is matching the developmental level that the child is at.

Step 2:

Check in to see what the child already knows about the subject of race. Finding out where your kids are at with the subject is the best way of meeting them there. Ask them questions about what they notice about race, what they have heard, what they think and if they already have questions. This is a great way of noticing what they already understand, what information they have that needs to be addressed and to build on the correct info already there.

Race is a complex subject with over 400 years of history informing the topic and the reality today. Scholars have spent many years of their careers in studying this subject, so don’t feel that you need to provide everything to your kids. This will be an ongoing discussion as your kids grow, learn in school and are exposed to different people and ideas. There are some great subjects & experiences that you can start with:

Step 3:

v Slavery and the history of a nation built on unpaid labor and the harm done

v How people of color often face being treated unfairly in different spaces

v How to be an ally and stand up for people of color when they hear or see things that don’t feel right

v Exposure your kids to people of color in different settings. This can be through the media, the books they read, museums, festivals i.e., Hispanic protagonists, black professional on TV and the contributions to culture by people of color.

v Help kids understand where different skin colors come from (biology)

v Tell stories not just based in pain, but in resilience and ability

Education through action

Step 4:

Remember that your kids are always learning from their environment (consciously and unconsciously) so it is important that your actions reflect curiosity and empathy of other races. If your kids see you as someone willing to learn and behave as an ally, they are more likely to follow suit. Empathy and curiosity are the linchpins of respecting and being an ally to other races. Work on your own ability to empathize and be curious so you can both show and teach kids in return.

Step 5:

Recognize privilege exists. Privilege doesn’t mean you’ve never struggled or had an easy life. There are people that are ill or have other troubles and this is not to take away from those experiences. Remember, having hardships isn’t a contest and there are times and places to talk about other experiences. If the subject is privilege then do you best not to distract from the subject. Often, having privilege means race may not be one of those factors adding to the difficulty. Help your kids understand that if they are white, they may not face the same impacts of racism, but they can use that privilege to help others.

Step 6:

Don’t expect to have all the answers and be able to admit when you don’t! We are all consistently learning and when we get new legitimate information this should be embraced, not seen as a threat. Make finding the answers to the questions you can’t answer an opportunity to learn with your kids and maybe even a bonding moment. You may want to ask your friends or family members of another race to help you, or your kids, learn; this can be a great well of anecdotal knowledge. However, we want to remember that marginalized people often have to explain (or defend) their existence and experiences. Asking them to do more work for white folks may be more weight for them to bare (for free), so if you want to lean on these people make sure you ask for permission and compensate when necessary.

Benefits of Educating Kids on Race

Talking about racism is an essential part of talking about race, so it’s important that as we introduce kids to new peoples, we don’t lose sight of the difficulties and struggles they face. This education should be a balance of who these folks are and the impact of that when living in the U.S.

By following these steps (and more) you are providing young people with the tools to move with intention, kindness, and critical thinking skills. In our ever-changing nation, it is becoming more important for young people to understand experiences and situations outside of their own. Young people look to their caretakers to help them make sense of the world and that includes allowing them to learn from the array of people’s and histories that exist.

I believe it is most parents’ intention to raise kids that are loving, open, curious and actors for good in the world. By talking with your kids about race you are helping them navigate a reality that this nation has faced since its inception. These conversations will not always go perfectly or feel comfortable, learning isn’t always easy – though it is necessary.

Resources:

Adults

Movies/TV shows:

- 13th (Netflix),

- I Am Not Your Negro

- Dear White People

- When They See Us

- Blackish

Books:

- My Grandmother’s Hands written by Resmaa Menakem

- Me and White Supremacy written by Layla F. Saad

- Between the World and Me written by Ta-Nehisi Coates