Here We Go Again

Everybody has a different journey in life. Please remember that as you read about mine :)

I put this off for OVER A YEAR. I wanted the feeling to go away. I ignored it. I would brush it off. I told people I was probably done, I didn't want more kids.

I had just reached my ideal weight, I felt good about my body, my kids sleep through the night, no one is in diapers, I hate morning sickness (who doesn't?), nursing hurts, formula is expensive, and blah blah blah.

Well, here we are:

I remember one night shortly after Layla had been born just bawling my eyes out. It had been a really rough day with her. Kip came and hugged me and I said this:

"You know what the worst part of today is? It's that I feel like there is one more kid who needs to be in our family."

I didn't want that feeling! Layla was a very hard baby and toddler for me. Her newborn experience was the reason I didn't want to go through all of it again.

Well, a few years went by and I started getting that "feeling". Call it mother's intuition, a 6th sense, divine spiritual guidance, or craziness. The "feeling" that another child was supposed to be coming to our family soon. I cried a lot that day.

I talked to my sister about it along with some friends and they told me that I didn't HAVE to have another baby. Things will work out, and if I can't handle another kid, that's okay! So I had decided that I was done at two. No more kids for me!

But..... the feeling WOULD NOT LEAVE. And then I started feeling like I'm not ready to NOT have a toddler around. I mean, the feeling was SUPER subtle. But I will admit that it was there.

And then I would see friends holding new little babies, and I would feel a tad bit baby hungry. Not a lot, but a little.

I had scheduled to get my IUD out twice and had cancelled both appointments. Finally, I decided that I would just need to go for it. If it was meant to be, then God would help me. Kip agreed, so I made the final appointment to get it out.

The weeks before that appointment, I had kind of been asking the kids if they wanted a new baby. Colton always said "YES!", but Layla always gave a very strong "NO!"..... However, the morning of my appointment to get the IUD out, Layla said to me, "Mommy, I want you to have a baby. I will bring you diapers!"

............Like, what? What changed overnight? It was another sign to me that it was the right time.

I got my IUD out in October, had a period and got pregnant in November. This kid is ready to come into our family!

So here I am, having morning sickness (I am following my own advice from my post on how to deal with morning sickness haha). I'm tired, my boobs hurt, I'm nauseous when I don't eat but nothing sounds good, I've been dry heaving, and all healthy eating habits have gone out the window. Not just for me, but for everybody in my house.

But, it's okay. It will pass...... eventually. I know I don't have it as bad as some other moms out there. And I sure do know that I'm lucky enough to be able to have a baby right now.

So, here's to trusting in God. Bring it on!