Let's start with this: I know all about the mom guilt that some mom's have when they have decided not to breastfeed their baby.
I had such a hard time switching to formula with my second kid. With my first one, I was able to nurse him for a full year and I loved it! He didn't have any latching struggles, he didn't have any food sensitivities, and I felt a sweet bond with him.
Since it went so well with him, I naturally thought that it would be the same way with my second child. Um, it wasn't.
Layla had always had a hard time latching on and just wasn't a good nurser in general. Whenever she was ready to nurse I would just cry. My nipples hurt so bad and had blood blisters on them. But dangit, I was determined to breastfeed her. Because you know what they say, "Breast is best!". So we kept at it.
We soon learned that Layla had a dairy intolerance. That explained why she would always arch her back when trying to nurse, and why she could scream her guts out all the time. Her tummy was in pain. Eventually her poops looked like there was mucus in them (I know, gross). So, I gave up dairy. Oh my gosh I love everything dairy! But, being the determined mom who only believed "breast is best", I went for it.
We gave it a shot and she got a little better, but there was still something wrong. There was still a bit of mucus in her poops and she was still crying a lot. Surprise! She also had a soy intolerance!
Now at this point in my head I was thinking "Good grief. Everything has soy! I need to eat more than apples!". But, again, "breast is best" and I tried for about 3 days going without soy. I couldn't do it. I was hungry all the time and so incredibly cranky/tired/in pain/ hormonal/going a little psycho.
Kip had suggested that we switch to formula because he could see how stressed I was about everything related to my boobs and our newborn. He could see that I was not okay mentally and emotionally. But, when he suggested that we make the switch I got mad. I felt like he wasn't supporting me in my decision to try breastfeeding again. But Kip being the incredibly patient guy he is helped me see that switching to formula was what we needed to do.
So, we got ready to make the transition. But holy cow, the mom guilt. I felt so so so so guilty. All I could think about was how she wouldn't be getting the best nutrients possible. I felt that her immune system wouldn't be as strong. And ew, formula tastes disgusting (yes, I have tried it). If I were able to breastfeed her then she would be able to taste the different food that I ate. And then on top of that, I was also worried about not being to feel like I was bonding with her. When you are nursing your baby, you are doing skin to skin and it just happens naturally.
But, guess what? In order to be the best mom possible for your baby, YOU have to be okay mentally and emotionally. I wasn't okay. I was going downhill and couldn't even see it for a while. All I thought about was "breast is best". But no, having a mom who is able to be there mentally and emotionally for the baby is best.
Layla still got all the nutrients she needed. Her immune system was fantastic. Heck, she didn't get sick nearly as much as my first kid did, and he was breastfed for a year! And really, babies don't care about the taste of something when they are newborns. They care about being fed. And, you can absolutely still bond with your baby while you are bottle feeding them. While you are holding them, look at their eyes, talk to them, cuddle them, and sing. You will still bond that way!
In the end, I let my milk dry up (yeah, it hurt. And made my hormones go more bonkers for a little bit), and everyone was happier. We got Layla on some hypoallergenic formula (seriously the most expensive freaking formula out there, but worth it) and she stopped crying all the time. Her poop was normal, her tummy wasn't hurting all the time, and we have all lived happily ever after :) And one more positive, Kip was able to help with the feedings now! I didn't have do it all myself!
For reals, I don't know why I waited so long to switch to formula. It was the best thing for our family. Get the "breast is best" saying out of your head if it isn't working for you. Sure, people might judge you, but who cares what other people think? They don't know your situation!
You do YOU mama! You got this!
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